February 11, 2002

ATLANTA (Cox News Service) - There is something wrong with a little "harmless gossip"- contrary to what the busybodies of the workplace may prefer to think.

Indeed, when it comes to workplace civility and respect among workers, the practice of workplace gossip seems to be up for review in the post-Sept. 11 environment.

"What we have absolutely heard (among clients) is that the workplace, post-9/11, has become a more civil environment," says Peter Post, co-director of the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt., and co-author of "The Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success."

"People clearly, definitely, are being much more cognizant of their fellow workers and treating them with respect and kindness," Post says.

But gossip was never healthy, even before the terrorist attacks, Post says.

"Gossiping and rumor-mongering add stress to the workplace," Post explains. "Create stress in the workplace, and you create a situation where people who feel this is being done to them, instead of focusing on their work and their jobs, they are now focusing on the problem, the situation and not doing their work."

The result? Lower productivity, which in turn affects the bottom line, Post says. And sometimes, research has shown, workers will actually quit rather than work in such an environment.

Post suggests the positive effect of recovering from the terrorist attacks is evident outside the workplace as well. "I think people in general are treating people more kindly," he says, "and that means you're not going to say things that you may have said previously."

Gossip is not harmless, adds Peter G. Vajda who holds a Ph.D. in education and cognitive psychology and is cofounder of SpiritHeart at Work, a Sandy Springs, Ga. firm that does coaching, counseling and training.

"I think gossip really is a form of workplace violence, something I define as language that will cause somebody harm, pain or confusion," Vajda says.

Since the terrorist attacks on this country, Vajda says he has observed many of his clients and other workers he comes in contact with are looking at themselves and their behavior.

"Lots of folks are stepping back after 9/11 and asking themselves, "What do I really value?' " Vajda says. "When they say, "What do I really value?' the answer comes up as a dichotomy. Companies say, "Our employees are important people. We want open, honest communication.' Those are what in management 101 are called "espoused values.' "

However, Vajda says, " "Nine o'clock Monday morning values' for a lot of people are really not aligned with those espoused values."

It's the "9 o'clock Monday morning values' that condone stealing paper clips, surfing the Internet on work time and gossiping at the water cooler or after work, Vajda says.

Some people behave differently at work and in other parts of their lives, says Vajda. "It was OK to engage in gossip and this other behavior because, "I'm "at work." ' Now, I'm hearing from my clients that they want to show up to their workplace with their whole selves, not just the self that is "at work.' "

But giving up gossiping may not be so easily accomplished. Sometimes it just seems irresistible.

"From my experience in working with my clients, people oftentimes need a platform of judgment or criticism in order to feel good about themselves," Vajda says. "Gossip allows them a false sense of fulfillment and well-being. Gossip allows them to be part of a group. Even when it is insidious, it allows them to be part of the group, or one of the boys."

Getting a grip on gossip demands self-discipline, Post says, and you've got to be willing to take a stand.

"Stopping is a matter of self-examination and making a decision that that's not going to be a part of your life," he says.

Maria Mallory writes for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Why am I engaging in gossip or supporting others who do so? What does gossiping get me?
Is there another way to get the same result without harming another person?

Does gossiping align with my organization's espoused values about respecting and honoring people?

Would I repeat this gossip directly to the person it's about? Would I want to be quoted on TV or in the company newsletter? Would I engage in gossip if it were about a relative or a personal friend?

Am I expressing my authenticity, sincerity and integrity when I gossip?

Would I want to be the subject of others' gossip? Does gossiping honor my personal values - who I really am?