A:
Many preschool children throw tantrums and are at times physically forceful. This behavior often begins when toddlers are around 2 years of age, the so-called "the terrible twos." Others, like children with Down Syndrome, may go through this same stage in their development a year or two later.
Young children start to learn early in life how to control their feelings and the right ways to communicate with others. Each child is unique -- this path can range from smooth, easy, and quick to one that needs more patience, guidance and time.
Children don't understand how much it hurts when they push, slap or bite others. They may turn to physical attack and tantrums for attention. They do not have enough self-control and are still learning better ways to communicate and share how they feel and what they want or need.
Immediately after a violent outburst or tantrum, your child needs to be separated from his activity. He needs to know what behavior is wrong, why it is not a good approach, and what happens if he keeps doing it. If he keeps doing it, he might need "time-out."
It helps to have clear rules and to enforce them consistently. Do not give in to your child's demands when he throws a tantrum. This rewards and encourages the unacceptable behavior. When you set clear limits, you help your child begin to learn self-control.
Henry H. Bernstein, D.O., is a senior lecturer in Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School. In addition, he is chief of General Academic Pediatrics at Children's Hospital at Dartmouth and professor of pediatrics at Dartmouth Medical School. He is the former associate chief of General Pediatrics and director of Primary Care at Children's Hospital Boston. 
